I’m Not Buying It

/ Gina Haney

I don’t know if you’ve browsed the toy section lately, but if you have you’ve likely viewed the latest club wear modeled by top brand dolls.

And don’t concern yourself with our good childhood friend not fitting in. That girl has been everything from veterinarian to aerobics coach to a US Navy petty officer, and now – um??? I am not sure… the box doesn’t exactly say, but it appears she’s made good friends with the younger girls in the doll isle and they live for the weekend.

If you’ve walked through the mall lately you’ve noticed the shop windows are full of prom dresses that resemble something more like exotic dance wear.

Step on in the store and you’ll see that crop tops (look more like bras to me) and shorts that have more fabric extending up the waist then down the legs are a hot look this year.

Really, I could go on and on but I don’t need to. You can go to dinner at your favorite restaurant and see girls standing in line wiggling and tugging at their hems.

All this wiggling and tugging tells me something; they aren’t comfortable with this either. They may be begging for it or maybe they don’t have to, but there is a lot of squirming going on. Their minds think they want this but they are wiggling like their souls are trying to escape it.

Oh Mommas, I know it’s hard. I’ve given my little girl many birthday and Christmas gifts that weren’t what she thought she really wanted most.

I’ve been tempted to give in. This one isn’t sooo bad. Right? I always come back to this:

If this isn’t who we want our little girls to become, then why is this who we are letting them pretend they are?

Isn’t that what imaginative play is? Pretending you are______?

And isn’t that our job; to say no to the things that they want short term so they can be who they want long term?

When did doll company’s go from encouraging greatness to condoning trashiness?

It’s easy to see why parents are willing to fork out literally hundreds on American Girl and Build-A-Bear toys. A company based on values encouraging innocence and whimsy has my dollars too.

Have you noticed that many women’s swimsuits are going back to a more conservative retro Hollywood styles, and girls swimwear has strings, holes and plunges?

We shouldn’t be too hard on the manufacturers though should we? After all, they are only making what we are buying.

This is a link to an amazing ministry tool I’ve used in teaching modesty to teen girls in our youth group in the past. http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WJVHRJbgLz8

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9 thoughts on “I’m Not Buying It”

  1. Excellent points, Gina! I have a lot of similar thoughts as I attempt to shop for decent clothing for my nine year old. She is very tall, developing early, and high-functioning autistic. Trying to find something decent can be a challenge! And the dolls…so agree. Sarah has some fashion dolls, but only the ones we deem appropriate. Needless to say, it’s a small collection!:) Thanks for pointing out some important things to think on.

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    • Thank you Marisa. It’s been a struggle for years. In children’s ministry we’ve dealt with a lot of modesty issues with the girls. These girls don’t know their value. Somewhere, we’ve dropped the ball and let them believe these things that get them noticed will make them feel loved. It’s heatbreaking. I believe we need to change that. Thanks again.

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      • I agree!
        Part of the problem is that they are not get love and attention at home so they need to seek it elsewhere! They simply want to be noticed, adored, loved, appreciated. The tight/skimpy clothes are a way to get noticed. Been there…

        I struggled with this in my mid and late teens. Dad was there but disengaged while mom was also there but never gave compliments only criticism. It was tough!

        I learned to be perfect at everything in search of their praise but never really got it. Promises of rewards were simply a ploy to achieve a desired result from me – – a bribe!

        Wow!!! I just had a breakthrough! I’ve never put this into words before it’s always been in the back of my mind somewhere. Hence my distrust of people, my need to please and eventual failed relationships since I always end up with someone who cannot fulfill my emotional needs – – same as my parents – – distant and or critical.

        Therapy is in session… ^_^

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      • You are so spot on! As I was wrighting this I kept want to add in these whys and how’s to this post but kept feeling it was an entire post all in and of itself. I hope to gather my thoughts and organize my words soon, because I believe the issue it urgent.
        Thank you for openly sharing! Your story echoes mine and millions of others. You were just brave enough to say it. Honestly, owning it is important to understanding and healing it. Thank you again for your comment.
        Gina

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      • No, thank you for triggering that breakthrough! Blogging has been helping me work through many issues that have not been explored deeply in years.
        Someone recommended therapy a while back but I don’t like hearing myself talk, I am better able to express my emotions when I write – – that’s how it’s always been.

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  3. Thanks Pam. I battled this post because it seemed like too narrow of a topic. I try to post things that I think might be more relevant to a diverse group of people. Honestly, this is something I think most people don’t know or notice. The thinking that it’s harmless is the most harmful of all. Isn’t that how it always starts with anything Satan edges in on?
    In fact the most scandalus doll my daughter has ever recieved was a birthday gift from a grandma. Let me clarify that it was NOT her grandma, but a grandma (someone whom you expect to have a higher modesty boundary).
    I don’t think this is JUST a parenting issue. I think this is a village issue.
    Thanks again Pam.
    Gina

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