A Purpose and a Place

February 26, 2015February 27, 2015 / Gina Haney / 5 Comments

The coffee said it right there on the package; Paradise is where I am.” Ha! Bologna! How can that be? It sure doesn’t feel like paradise when your heads spinning with the bewilderment of it all.

It was time. After eleven years of youth ministry the job we never thought we’d leave was not our calling any longer. How did we know?
• We lost motivation.
• We noticed our conversations during the week shifting from child centered ministry topics to adult centered ministry topics.
• Unsettled feeling. We were growing uncomfortable in our comfort zone.
• Our productivity had dropped.
• A fire began stirring inside of us that we can’t quench but have no outlet of release as the pressure builds.

So with certainty, and I won’t lie – a bit of fear; Josh resigned youth ministry last fall.
Whew! That was a load off! You know that amazing piece God gives when you are in perfect obedience with Him.

Now?

Hmmm…
It feels more like we’re stuck in a game of pin the tail on the donkey. Blindfolded and dizzy trying to find our way.

If you think it sounds like I’m pouting you’d be right. I’m the grumpiest pin the tail on the donkey contestant you’ll ever meet.

I like to know where I’m going and what’s to be expected of me. I also like – no – need to feel useful. And doesn’t everyone need to feel they have a purpose and a place?

The aha moment hit about here. When I bounced my thought off a wizened christian woman she disagreed. While I respect her thoughts I still can’t shake the feeling that she’s wrong about this one.

Is this valley another lesson in serving because He loves me, not so He will love me?

I’ve learned of a couple of fine lines we Christians kinda have trouble finding balance on.
A. The line between law and love. We get hung up on one and forget the significance of the other.
B. The line between works and faith. Again, we get hung up on one and forget the significance of the other.

I don’t know about any of you, but I get to feeling like I am such a mistake that I go about trying to makeup for it. And if that isn’t an insult to the blood; I don’t know what is.

The wizened Christian doesn’t think God likes siestas. She likened it to car shopping. “Does God care if you buy a car? Yes”, she said. “Does he care what color it is? No.” So if I heard this right; God cares if we serve but, isn’t picky about how we serve? And that just sounded absurd to me.

I don’t know how this is going to all turn out. I wasn’t sure it was something I could write with authority on, because I’m still feeling a bit bewildered.

I started the coffee and stood at the sink to wait for the ready beep. The snow flakes were falling fine and fast but you know the way they slow and twirl right next to the glass of the window? It’s like they’re dancing for you!

I’ve got approximately 22 minutes and 14 seconds to be alone with God before the kids start trickling down the stairs, and the house is filled with “No! It’s my turns.” and “What’s for breakfast?”. I don’t think I’ll do a thing. I’ll just set and be with He who created to have communion with me. Paradise is where you are. Yeah, maybe so. So far as earth is concerned anyway.

Aid for the Grey Sky Days

February 17, 2015 / Gina Haney / Leave a comment

Our story’s aren’t the same. Some have buried friends, children, siblings, parents. Some have been martyred. Some are clinging to their I.V. pole as they heave from the chemo. Others are swaddling babies and cheering victories. But whatever in this broken world you’re doing; this still rings true.

Josh proclaimed it from the pulpit that Sunday morning; how we have peace not because we understand, but because we have faith in our God who understands.

A few hours later we read the news. I realized we can proclaim the truth when our hearts need it – then witness how things really can get worse and our hearts can need it even more.

Our souls groan at the headlines, and we must recall the truth we’ve heard, we’ve spoken, we’ve read, and we believe; to deliver us in this time.

Yeah! Absolutely, God is our crutch. Because we are those people who’d rather hobble through broken than set down or set out.
We would rather acknowledge our weakness’ and lean on God’s strength than pretend we’re fine, it’s fine, we’ve got this, and walk around saving our pride and hiding our authentic need for a savior.

That truth that we must declare isn’t just for the brokenness within our own flesh, or within our own walls. It expands across the ocean. It reaches into houses, and huts, and hearts.
The only effective aid that can span the whole space of the broken world, and hold up the to the weight of it all – is Jesus.

If we hide it, deny it, or make light of it; then we are withholding the aid the whole wide world needs.
But if our gospel be hid, it is hid from them who are lost. 2 Corinthians 4:3

We can know it in our heads, hide it in our hearts, and feel it in our bones. “Your ways our higher than ours.”

Jim said every breath we take is only possible because God gives it, but the last thing we do when we die is exhale. You can die without God, but you can’t take your next breath without Him.

For better or for worse; it is impossible to hear someone’s last words and not be changed. For better or for worse; it is impossible to hear Gods word and not be changed. Your heart becomes tough or tender.

Lisa ask where the happy was. I could have sworn the whole world was a monochrome grey that day. I said I didn’t know, but that’s not exactly true. It’s just that neither of us needed a sermon right then. We just needed to be real, and to lean, and to not put some phony patch on things. Just lean on our crutch, and let the tears fall, and the sky look grey. Because God always sends a rainbow, but he reserves it for after the storms done passed.

Love Is

February 11, 2015February 11, 2015 / Gina Haney / 2 Comments

I noticed this morning that I will be finishing the book of Daniel on Friday and starting Hosea on Saturday. Song of Solomon is known as the love book, but if you ask me Hosea deserves just as much credit. To say I am excited to start Hosea on Valentine’s Day would be an understatement.

Like most girls I’ve always enjoyed Valentine’s Day, but I’ve noticed in the last few years it has grown considerably less exciting and important to me. I still buy cards and candies to show those I love that I do love them, but honestly it all seems superficial to me. I thought it was because growing older has taught me that loving well the other 364 days is more important than buying into the hype of one day. That is true, but this year I have changed my mind about Valentine’s Day.

For the last 5 years or so we have busied ourselves each year with our youth group and hosting a Valentine’s banquet for the adults at our church. I often think and plan ideas for my own loved ones early then it flees my mind and I’m grabbing last-minute gifts, and few to none of my plans materialize. Since becoming parents, we have a traditional seafood dinner at home where we exchange gifts with each other and the children. It’s quaint but lovely.

Not this year though. Maybe it’s because we aren’t busy hosting a banquet at church, but I have been thinking a lot more and a lot deeper about Valentine’s Day.

The story of Hosea is the true definition of love. Humans define love as an intense feeling of deep affection. 1John 4:8 defines love as God Himself. If God is love, and He is; then we should look to Him for how to love. Hosea is the example of how God loves.

God told the prophet Hosea to marry and love a Harlot. He married Gomer and it wasn’t too long after what we will call the honeymoon phase; that Gomer was being adulterous. Hosea pleaded with her (2:2). Hosea threatened to leave her with nothing (2:3). But Gomer continued to seek other partners and sin (2:5). Hosea lovingly took her back, but her faithfulness was short-lived and she would be in adulterous relationships again. Gomer finally officially leaves Hosea.

This is horrible! Why would you want use this story for Valentine’s Day? Why would God ask Hosea to do this you ask. Hosea was our relatable symbolic example of the depth of love and loyalty God has for us.

Hosea ends up having to buy back his wife for 15 pieces of silver and some barley (if the sin itself wasn’t humiliating that would be). This all has me thinking; if Christmas is the when and Easter is the how then Valentine’s is the why. Love is not an intense feeling of affection. Love is sacrifice. Love is keeping your promises when they break theirs. Love is when nothing makes sense. Love is when it isn’t wanted or deserved. Love is God.

He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love. 1John 4:8