I want to keep it real here so I’ll start with my own confession.
I’ve managed to make it all the way to mid week without cracking my Bible open. It’s not just any ole week either. For the first time ever I purposed not to decorate for Christmas until after Thanksgiving, because I had this grand vision of a holy and meaningful way to celebrate and teach my first world kids what true thanksgiving is. (Maybe I’ll post the devotions I created for each week of Thanksgiving month eventually.) We made it through week one! Then the ball was dropped and here we are at the big day; my trees still tucked away and so is my Bible.
I can give you all my excuses: We’ve had a lot going on with church, family and homeschool. I have had sick children for the last 3 days. I’ve been doing laundry and trying to Lysol and Clorox our home to heavenly purity. Truth be told, the Bible hasn’t left the shelf in three days and that basically means my goal of heavenly purity has been a big fail.
Somehow amongst all the rocking babies and praying for their healing I’ve managed to become a hypocrite.
I tell the kids, “Make your Christmas list, but remember not to beg for stuff like you are entitled to it. I want to know what you want. We love giving you good gifts but we must remember that we are blessed. Be thankful.”
It occurred to me. I have acted entitled this week. I have prayed for friends, family, my children. I have been stressing over the menu, calendar, and the steam mop that I believed had bit the dust right when all three of my children’s bodies were purging a virus.
Oh yeah! I put it on the fridge. “It’s not happy people who are thankful; its thankful people who are happy.” I’ve counted a few gifts in my gratitude journal. It’s been pretty superficial though. I’m left feeling like a heinously entitled brat.
I’ve found myself frustrated at the carelessness of the sick person who “I just know” exposed us. I’ve pouted at the times I’ve had to dump the buckets. I’ve been angry about the trash piling up, and I’ve been sad that Josh has been gone most waking hours this week; leaving me to deal alone.
I’ve done a lot of praying though — sick kids will do that you know. Luckily for me, God is much more patient than I am. I don’t deal well with needy begging children. God has lovingly tolerated-no indulged me and all my whiny begging. The kids are almost good as new. I even figured out how to fix the mop.
God is so graciously generous with all good things. I may have sent my kids to bed after a good scolding if they had been so disrespectful to me. God just lovingly meets all my request then some.
And if He hadn’t? That makes my heart ache.
Do I really get it? “It’s not happy people who are thankful; its thankful people who are happy.”
How big are we talking here? Like the mop? Sure! I could totally get a new mop.
If we are still keeping it real here though; I’d have to be honest and say, I sure am thankful that God is a giver of good gifts. I’m thankful He doesn’t give me what I deserve. I am most thankful He is patiently, lovingly, mercifully graciously moving me to a place where I can say, “God is good, so this must be for the best.”
2 thoughts on “A Thanksgiving Confession”
How were you able to dump onto a page what happens inside of me and my house so many days. I, too, am grateful for His abounding grace and mercy. Found you via sharing on the Nester about what we learned in November. So glad I did!
Thank you so much for your kind words. Fear has been telling me I have nothing of value to say. I’m only one month in on my blog and fighting fear and insecurities has been real. Your words are sweet like honey. Thank you for this grace. I will be sure to pop in on your blog also.