Ugly Things Grow in Dark Places

I guess you could say I have been on a bit of a hiatus. Life has been moving fast. I Have had a terribly sick little girl, my husband has injured his back and all of this makes for writing inspiration but does not make for writing time.

However, back in April I wrote a guest post for and today is the big day. I hope you’ll swing over to, and check it out. They have such an amazing ministry, I just know you’re going to love them.

So while I am consumed with my first calling as wife and mom, I hope you bear with me and pray for me.

I’ll be back soon. In the meantime hop on over to I would be honored if you would.


Forfeit the Race for Grace

I hear it over and over from other moms. Ha! I feel it over and over. It’s like there is this silent gunshot that sends us mommies clawing at the ground to keep up and stay in the race.

I remember one day bent on overcoming my awkward silence, I determined to speak to as many other moms there that day as I could. Not a bashful “Hi”, but to really seek, speak, and sponsor friendship.

I left that day feeling diagnosed.

I left feeling like my brand of mothering wasn’t up to par.

I went in wanting to be real, make real friends, stop the competition and start a connection.

It seemed that every mom I spoke to that day was bent on being seen as the best. Nobody was interested in being real.

I believe know community and fellowship is crucial.

Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour. 1Peter 5:8

Lions run into the herd and try to separate one from the rest for an easy kill. Satan does that to us dear introverts. It is critical for us to have our time. We must make space for our own sanity, but we can not allow Satan to isolate us from other believers. Ask me how I know. Really that’s a post all in of itself.

So when Brittany said she was feeling lead to bring moms together to connect in a real way. I smiled and nodded and hoped they didn’t eat her alive.

I was feeling a bit too jaded to commit to joining her. “I’ll let her get the group going then if it feels safe I will join.”

Um, wrong! Basically what I did was join the race and leave her vulnerable in the dust after she had the courage to step out brave and call a timeout on this silly running in circles.

One worn momma this week said to me, “Something! I just want to have something together. Anything! But I have nothing. It’s all falling apart.” I said, “Mary lost her 12-year-old son, and God still said Mary is blessed and highly favored.”

I mean really, that story may have been preached at 100 different angles but it preaches to my heart in that if Mary could lose the Messiah and still be in God’s good graces, it’s ok to forfeit the race for grace.

It Is ok to forfeit the race for grace.

When she called me last week broken and battered by Satan. I searched my mind frantically to find words of wisdom. I came up empty and when I hung up the phone that day I felt I had really blown it. I told Josh all about it that night and he was right. He said, “most times people don’t need you to tell them how they can fix it. They don’t need great spiritual wisdom. They just need you to listen and pray.”

I remembered back to that day when I felt diagnosed. I didn’t go in and spill all my dirt or go in wanting or needing anyone’s help. I went in being me, and left feeling I needed fixing. I needed absolutely nobody to say, “Well, it’s good that you recognize that about yourself so that you can start the process of change.”


If they had known how many times I had prayed for God to change me…

I mean, Christians are supposed to love people and I fret, dread and become ill just thinking about those get-together that EVERYONE in the whole wide world – but me – loves.

How did God call my husband to ministry knowing I’m socially awkward. If the domain name for A Relentless Surrender had been taken, that would have only left the other half of my testimony, Awkward Preachers Wife, for the blog title.

For YEARS I have prayed to become an extrovert, but God has said no. It’s only been recently that I have (on most days) learned to accept being who He says He made me to be, and that’s not always easy when others want to diagnose and fix you.

I didn’t know for sure how to start a group of women who could feel safe and be real.

Now? I believe it’s being a friend who listens and prays. It is being a friend who doesn’t diagnose and prescribe a magic formula or lofty spiritual wisdom.

Forfeit the race for grace. It’s as simple as that.


It’s Not Over

I know as life moves on that tragedy can be forgotten when we aren’t the ones personally touched by it. I so appreciate Pastor Haron keeping us up to date and reminded. Because really, we are personally touched by it.

These are our kinsfolk.

Kinsfolk: a group of people related by blood.

…and we are related by Christ’s blood.

They are hurting and they need their kingdom family to know, to pray, to care.


I bring you warm Greetings from the people who survived the recent Earthquake in Nepal.
Nepal was struck by another significant earthquake, causing even more fear and injuries to a ​nation whose people are reeling from deep trauma.

As we prayed and asked the Lord to comfort​ ​the thousands of people affected, we remember the following passage from Lamentations, where we are reminded to cling to hope.


See your Impact of your support. ​Food for the people in the remote villages because of your partnership.​ ​​Your prayer and support reached 300 families with GOSPEL, FOOD, TENT, BIBLE. Thank you for making a HUGE difference.

‘The Lord is my portion,’ says my soul, ‘therefore I will hope in him.’(Lamentations 3:24)

The most recent quakes and tremors have caused buildings that were damaged from the first​ quake to fall to the ground, creating even more instability, and increased fear.

Every day earthquakes are taking place. Families are sleeping in open fields because they have lost their homes or are fearful the existing walls will fall in on them at any moment.

The most recent earthquake has not only affected Nepal, but has also caused destruction in other areas where RHM operates, including North East India (Sikkim).


​This man Mr Amber, lost his house, cows, goats, and his grand father. But he is so great full to us for help we gave. And this is all your partnership.​

​See your Love and Sacrificial support reaching the least of these.


These people not only got the Relief Aid but they also got Bible and the Gospel.


​Mr Dhan is the senior heads of the Village and he is only Christian from Dalit (Untouchables) family. He sends you his gratitude for helping his people. Soon the church will established in this village.

Your financial support and prayers are allowing our indigenous leaders and myself to serve and care for people who are in desperate need in the remote villages where others have not gone before.

They are sharing Christ’s love in a tangible way and bringing hope and Light into a very dark place.

They are giving Hope to the Hopeless Children of Nepal. They lost their school, uniform, book etc, and are sad for their future because they cannot go to school.


​Can you imagine she lost her mother while in the Kitchen cooking food. And now Kavita is taking care of her little sister. In just a matter of minutes everything that we knew has crumbled to pieces. This awful nightmare. Lots of Children became orphan so we are in need of your help to help these helpless children.

Earlier this week, previous to the most recent earthquake, a Reach Himalaya Ministry team was able to reach an extremely remote village that is devastated. Kunchok Village is very​ ​remote, Mr Dhan, one of the senior heads of the village and the only Christian, said: “During this terrible situation, you Christian people came to us first in our place. Before nobody wants to come because we are Dalit’s and untouchables and we have nothing. Our children went to bed with empty stomach, no food, no shelter nothing. You have shown lots of love and helped us more than we ever thought possible. We are thankful to you for the great help. You have not only provided us the relief material, but have also brought love, encouragement and blessing for us; we have never seen anything like your prayers and encouragement. Thank you. Please​ ​don’t leave us and forget us, we need your help so that we can get our village back normal and we want the new church planted to grow and become big.”

We thank God for how He is moving and working in the midst of this tragedy. Thank you for your continued support.

If you want to help, please pray, share and give to the link below.

Thank you!​ You can help by giving​ ​here:​

Thanks for pressing into the kingdom of God together. Seeing his church come together to help is an awe-inspiring thing.​
Ps Haron