I’m Not Buying It


I don’t know if you’ve browsed the toy section lately, but if you have you’ve likely viewed the latest club wear modeled by top brand dolls.

And don’t concern yourself with our good childhood friend not fitting in. That girl has been everything from veterinarian to aerobics coach to a US Navy petty officer, and now – um??? I am not sure… the box doesn’t exactly say, but it appears she’s made good friends with the younger girls in the doll isle and they live for the weekend.

If you’ve walked through the mall lately you’ve noticed the shop windows are full of prom dresses that resemble something more like exotic dance wear.

Step on in the store and you’ll see that crop tops (look more like bras to me) and shorts that have more fabric extending up the waist then down the legs are a hot look this year.

Really, I could go on and on but I don’t need to. You can go to dinner at your favorite restaurant and see girls standing in line wiggling and tugging at their hems.

All this wiggling and tugging tells me something; they aren’t comfortable with this either. They may be begging for it or maybe they don’t have to, but there is a lot of squirming going on. Their minds think they want this but they are wiggling like their souls are trying to escape it.

Oh Mommas, I know it’s hard. I’ve given my little girl many birthday and Christmas gifts that weren’t what she thought she really wanted most.

I’ve been tempted to give in. This one isn’t sooo bad. Right? I always come back to this:

If this isn’t who we want our little girls to become, then why is this who we are letting them pretend they are?

Isn’t that what imaginative play is? Pretending you are______?

And isn’t that our job; to say no to the things that they want short term so they can be who they want long term?

When did doll company’s go from encouraging greatness to condoning trashiness?

It’s easy to see why parents are willing to fork out literally hundreds on American Girl and Build-A-Bear toys. A company based on values encouraging innocence and whimsy has my dollars too.

Have you noticed that many women’s swimsuits are going back to a more conservative retro Hollywood styles, and girls swimwear has strings, holes and plunges?

We shouldn’t be too hard on the manufacturers though should we? After all, they are only making what we are buying.

This is a link to an amazing ministry tool I’ve used in teaching modesty to teen girls in our youth group in the past. http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WJVHRJbgLz8

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You Are Here


I’m the girl holding up the drive-thru. I take too long. I take too long to choose from the menu. I take too long to choose an outfit. I take too long at the store. I take too long deciding on plans.

I also take too much. I pack too many outfit choices. I buy too many hair products. I own too many eyeliners. I say too many yes’ that should be no’s, and too many no’s that should be yes’.

The point is to choose one word as your focus and reminder of your goal for the year. Here we are in the second half of January and I’m just now deciding. I was holding out for an epiphany. I knew all along what I needed to choose though. It’s nothing deep and super spiritual. It’s been blogged, preached, talked, published and made its way to the bargain books by now.

I am also too messy. I take too many words. I need at least a four word minimum. Be fully here to fully hear; a do-over lesson for me.

My decision was affirmed last week when a friend called hoping for a hair appointment for that same day. I explained that I was full and we set an appointment for the following morning. I said I would see her tomorrow. I expected her to say, see you tomorrow. As I pulled he phone from my ear and hit the end call button I realized she said, “I’ll see you tomorrow if I’m ok enough.” I was in such a hurry to get to what I was deeming most important that I finished her sentence and cut her off. In doing that I told her she wasn’t important to me. I called her back and turns out she needed a friend more than a haircolor.

How many times have I failed to love people well because the timer on the cloths dryer went off? I received a text? I needed to scrub the toilet before the blue cleaner I had just put in it got flushed?

Be fully here to fully hear. Because when I am dividing my attention I am saying, you don’t matter.

People matter most.

Be fully here to fully hear. Fully hear God, our friends, our family, the girl working the register…

People matter most.

No big epiphany or super spiritual thoughts. Just a do-over. Be fully here to fully hear.

Anyone want to tell me your word/words for the year and your thoughts behind them? Leave a comment. I would LOVE to hear. And I promise to be fully here to fully hear you, because you matter.

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A True and Holy Love Story


Here we are in the midst of the Christmas season; which I have managed to make more about the mass of gift buying than about The Christ, but there is still time to fix and still grace to cover that-another post another day.

While we are talking gifts, I’d like to tell you about a gift I received over a decade ago but just realized a couple weeks ago. Jailyn and I were cleaning the kitchen. She was sweeping while I was wiping down countertops. Broom in hand she morphed into a singing sensation as we all do (let’s be honest here). To my surprise it wasn’t “Let it Go”. Today is was the Little Mermaids “Kiss the Girl”.

I joined in and we were belting it out way too loudly to be pretty. We got to the line where it says,

Yes you want her

Look at her, you know you do

It’s possible she wants you too

There’s just one way to ask her

It don’t take a word, not a single word

Go on and kiss the girl.

 (Flashback) 

I was 12, and my sister, cousins and I were playing basketball at a church down the street; where a bunch of kids would hang out and play. Out of the blue, without warning a boy from school came up and kissed me. There I stood in front of all my peers being kissed without warning  by someone I didn’t like. I felt so humiliated. I played it off until I got home.

I called my friends and told them about how embarrassed and grossed out I had been; only to be told I was being a prood. As if that wasn’t bad enough the next day I learned how fast 7th grade news travels.

That was just one of several times I felt invaded by a boy.

Standing there singing those words I had sang and heard MANY times before but this time was jarring. When headlines are saying the count of women coming forward is now 16 and they have nothing to gain and everything to lose?

That’s when I realized the gift I’d been given. I though of how many times we have laughed about how long it took Josh to get the nerve to just hold my hand. I remembered how respectful he had been; waiting for our first kiss, and I remembered the phone call after he had felt he’d crossed the line.

Josh gave me the gift of a true love story to share with my daughter. A bit of truth to counter the Disney lie with. We stopped sweeping and looked into each others eyes as I shared the testimony of true love. Holy and real romance.

A brave young man who lived a life against the grain and in opposition to everything the locker rooms, magazines, movies and hormones told him. A man who respected a girl who was accustomed to disrespect not because she was someone’s daughter or sister or future wife, but because he knew she was made in the image of God. She was Gods and not his.

So sure we can keep on believing those are harmless lyrics, and kids will be kids, but somewhere something’s going wrong when boys are thinking they have the right to girls and girls are thinking its a boy that will make them alright. Its all mixed up, jumbled up and backward.

I am a hopeless hopeful who believes we care and can change things.

I believe we aren’t ok with the schools or anyone else teaching our kindergarteners about homosexuality. I believe uncomfortable as it may be we would rather tell our children the truth then let them go on believing the lies. Because, we aren’t blind to the cost and we know its more than reputation on the line here—souls are at risk. They belong to God and we are our brothers keeper.

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