Are Our Sanctuaries Really Safe?

It’s my favorite wednesday of the month, Wise Woman Wednesday. This one is extra special to me because this wise woman is extra special to me. If you know my husband, you know that there is a rockstar momma somewhere to be found. Men like that don’t just happen. I’m more than humbled that she said “yes” to my invite. I just can’t wait for ya’ll to see how smart she is. *Said in a really high pitched voice.* Without further ado, my mother-in-law Tammy Haney.


My life the last three years could be categorized in huge highs and great blessings interspersed with great overwhelming loss. There have been times my faith has taken a severe bruising so that the only thing I could pray was “He restoreth my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness.” I have often taught that you need to have your relationship with God in place and know where your faith stands because when you are tested or going through horrific loss there is no time to start that relationship. I knew God was there and He was walking with me and all I could do was hang on.
I boldly proclaim the truth that what got me through that period was finding One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. Learning to count blessings and looking for the small gifts God gives everyday helped me put one foot in front of the other when I really just wanted to lick my wounds and turn into a hermit.
The thing is we all have periods like that where life is hard and we are barely holding on. There have been times I put on the brave face and shared what I was going through with my Christian sisters (which is really hard for me because I am a very private person) only to be looked at like I had two heads. All I needed was someone to wrap their arms around me and say “I am sorry for what you are going through”.
In our churches do we offer comfort and hope? Is church or women’s Bible study a safe place to share or do we fear judgement? Is church a country club where we have to keep up appearances? In 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Paul says God comforts us in all our tribulations THAT WE MAY BE ABLE TO COMFORT THOSE WHO ARE TROUBLED.
I am SO guilty of looking past people and rushing past people. But I am asking God to give me a sensitive heart and spiritual eyes for those who need just a hug and a word of encouragement and hope that the rough places do smooth and the road won’t always be so difficult.
Join me in being the change! Don’t just say “I will be praying for you”. Stop and pray with them right then. Give hugs. Send cards. Tell the hurting you are sorry for what they are suffering. Shed tears with them. Love them as Jesus does.



How to Really Live

For thus saith the Lord unto the house of Isreal, Seek ye me, and ye shall live. Amos 5:4

There is a whole world full of people chasing after life… Dreams… Goals… Achievements… Recognition… Hopes… Love…

It’s hard to turn on the t.v., the radio, the computer, flip open a magazine or drive past a billboard without seeing someone amazing. There are globe trekkers, actors, singers, athletes, photographers, doctors, lawyers, businessmen, survivalist… mattering.

Once upon a time there was a girl who told her 8th grade teacher she wanted to be a mom. That teacher told that girl that she needed to choose a real career. She needed to choose a real job. A real life. So she chose her second interest, beauty.

She accomplished it but it wasn’t until she became a mom that she felt she was really living. Like she had found the calling on her life. Like she was created to cook, clean, cuddle and point tiny humans toward Christ. It felt like holy work. Purposeful… Mattering.

But… Words like songs, are hard to get out of your head.

So that girl who’s now a mom isn’t sure she’s really enough. The world is full of chasers, maybe they are leaving her in the dust?

When someone asks what you do,
and they ALWAYS DO, you again put on a brave face only to be greeted by their face becoming disinterested. Disapproving. Even disgusted. So rather than turn another face you save face and say, “I am a hairstylist.”

“Do you keep busy?”
“Oh heavens yes.”
Inside you know that the reading lessons, kissed boo boos, spelling test, science experiments, trips to the park and play dates aren’t what they are referring to, but let’s just leave it be.

And if your getting the idea that I’m on the opinionated side of women/moms staying home… You’re wrong. The proverbs 31 woman worked.

There needs to be christian voices in every industry.

We may be a salesmen or a janitor or just a mom, but as Christians our main occupation should be seeking God.

This question may be the litmus test to determine if you are ‘really living’.

Are you hearing God, and are others hearing about God from you?

Amos made it clear that this is the measure of really living.

Holy living is wholly living.

Everything we ever are is only granted to us as opportunity to honor God. Without that, we will just be another sad ending to a “successful” life. Surely, if anything, Hollywood has taught us that.

And this is [really living], that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent. John 17:3


Born a Momma

I’ve never forgotten the pleading and howling. I’ve never forgotten the lamenting and groaning and yes, sometimes – whining and pouting.

I haven’t forgotten the day the stick said I was, but I said it couldn’t be, I couldn’t be, and I chuckled like Sarah, because I’d like to tell you I’m full of faith bone deep, but that’s not me. No, I had to have a nurse… and a doctor confirm it.

There is an ache soul deep when a momma needs to be a momma. No, I didn’t misspeak. It’s a very common thing to be born a momma. It’s also common in our broken world to give birth and never be a momma – really.

I spent 3 years asking God why not me. Then He gave me the marvelous wonder of motherhood, and I’ve spent every day since asking God why me.

You know where I see pretty babies all the time?


And Instagram.

And Facebook.

And Twitter.

There is a constant stream of adorable babies. Have you noticed? I promise you the 6.7 million women battling infertility notice.

No, battling wasn’t a poor choice of word either. There are people battling cancer, poverty, Aids, depression, addiction and… infertility.

Don’t think cancers the only thing that can eat away at your insides, or that addictions or depression affects you neurologically but not infertility. And don’t think for a minute that Aids and poverty are the only socially isolating issues.

Becky said, “our hurts seem so small comparatively.” Haven’t we all been there? It’s not a bad place to visit. We all need reminding of how blessed we are. Thank God He isn’t into comparisons. There’s enough God to tend to the cancer, Aids, and us without compromising the other.

Social media can be a hurtful place for those battling infertility. Lucky for me, 8 years ago social media wasn’t a thing. Or at least wasn’t a thing I knew about.

I snuck in for a bath in the jacuzzi the other day. That’s where I shed most of my tears and whaled most of my infertility prayers. I stared up at the ceiling and memories came flooding back.

Memories of how I felt so alone and forgotten as everyone else was having their first, second… fourth babies. I felt like I was forgotten. God where is mine?

Infertility left me feeling broken and ugly. If I was fearfully and wonderfully made then why am I broken, and unable to conceive?

I felt like I was striped of what made me a woman. Like I slipped down the conveyer belt and missed the quality control inspection.


Or maybe punished?

Friends and family? Well, the ones I felt comfortable talking to didn’t know what to say. They meant well. It’s hard to know what to say to hurting people period, but especially if you’ve never been there. I would hear things like:

-You want kids? Take mine! -Maybe it’s just not meant to be.

-Don’t worry. Just relax and it’ll happen. -Your trying too hard.

-Why don’t you just adopt?

-It must not be Gods will and you wouldn’t want anything that isn’t in Gods will for you would you?

While there is some truth to some of these, and total truth to the others. Hurting people only hear of one more way they are a failure.

They hear of one more way they weren’t blessed and highly favored.

One more way they are blowing it.

Today is her birthday. But, Inside I feel like it’s my birthday too. Not in a steal your thunder kind of way, but a remembering the thunder that tore me open and made us belong to one another.

No it isn’t when I came, but when I became – the only thing I’d spent my whole life dreaming of being.

So today I’ll celebrate her birth.

I’ll celebrate my becoming Mommy.

I’ll save the wishes for her and I’ll make the prayers. I’m praying that all those women born Mommas find their babies. image